Song – Page 3 – Pet Pixels

We’ve all been there: chatting away for ages on a zoom call before realising that nobody can hear you. This song is for everyone that’s done that.

The inspiration for this track came from Groove Armada’s fabulous instrumental, “Edge Hill”. I like the grungy bass that slowly builds into an orchestral backing, but I also wanted to keep some parts very sparse, reflecting the title.

The drum patterns came first, using Logic’s Beat Machine drummer and a lot of tweaking for variation. Next up was the bass, which I wanted to be really laid-back with lots of slides, and I’m pretty happy with how I played it. One of Logic’s amp models added some grit, and a phaser made it super creamy.

I recorded the acoustic guitar in two parts, two tracks each, one using the under-bridge piezo pickup and the other with a mic near the sound hole, each pair panned hard left and right, letting the double tracking make a nice stereo image with lots of movement.

The orchestral backing uses instruments (mainly viola and violin) from Spitfire Audio’s BBC Symphony Orchestra Discover plugin, which sounds lovely, and is astonishingly good considering it’s free! There is an additional sparkly pad layer from Logic’s Alchemy synth, some orchestral percussion also from Alchemy, and a reverse cymbal sample for a bit of drama.

I originally intended it to be instrumental only, and I had considered a guitar solo to add a little something, but I thought that a small vocal part would fit better in the track (despite the title!), and break up the more instrumented parts. For this I reached for Synthesizer V‘s Solaria voice, with “Airy” and “Light” modes dialled way up, a touch of added breathiness, and slacking off the tension. Yes, these are real controls! I’m getting better at using SV, but it’s not the easiest of things to work with; the integration with Logic is very basic.

Ooooh baby,
I can’t hear you.
Your lips are movin’, you’re looking cute.
There’s just one problem:
You’re on mute.

Ooooh baby,
You’re on mute.

If you found this entertaining, please check out my other musical efforts, and spread the joy on social media (I’m @Synchro@phpc.social and @SynchroM). More usefully, if you can sing (or play something) and would like to be involved in musical projects like this, please get in touch, as I could really use your help!

In the world of penetration testing, as I’m often involved in with ROS, those taking on the role of attackers are referred to as the “red team”, and those defending as the “blue team”. Red team people are often regarded as the rock stars of INFOSEC, but one key difference is that red-teamers only have to succeed in their efforts once, whereas blue-teamers have to succeed every time. Unfortunately, when the blue team succeeds, nothing notable happens, so they don’t get much of the glory.

This song is a tribute to the unsung heroes of the blue team; Gotta keep out the bad guys, baby!

Unsurprisingly, the “gotta keep out the bad guys” line was about the first thing I thought of, and everything stemmed from that. There were lots of blue-teamy things I could have written about, but I preferred to keep it short. The string-bend bass riff was the first bit of music, then the funky guitar parts, though I ended up dialling them back a bit in favour of some chuggy rhythm guitar. As in my other tracks, I was keen to use Synthesizer V for vocals, and the backing vocals came out really well. I wrote the lead guitar solo, then thought a higher vocal part alongside it might work, and it was also a chance to have a dig at the red team; it’s my favourite bit of the song.

There are a lot of guitar parts overall (all played by me), and only some small pad and organ keyboards for backing. I was especially happy that I managed to pull off the more aggressive bass parts and the lead solo. As usual, the drums were all done with Logic’s Drummer instrument, which does a great job without getting drunk and falling asleep during rehearsals, and its excellent “follow” mode meant that the drums could match what I’d played on the bass, rather than being some disconnected pattern.

As usual, I’m not too happy with my vocals (PRs welcome!), but Logic’s Flex Pitch editor works enough magic to get the job done. This track could really do with someone that can get a bit more grungy in the verses, with a hint of Elvis for the chorus.

[Intro]
Don’t break a sweat
from a constant threat.
We’ve got the tools to meet them
and firewall rules to defeat them.

[Verse]
We’ll take our time
to build our defences.
No need to be concerned,
we know the consequences.

They’re going to attack
our networking stack,
but we can keep them guessing as
their port scans come to nothing.

[Chorus]
Because, I’m on the blue team, baby,
we’ve got to always win.
Gotta keep out the bad guys,
can’t ever let them in.

Come join the blue team, baby,
we need your awesome skills.
Come watch that bad actor
try to guess my second factor.

[Solo]
Oooh red team stays outside,
don’t want you here.
Just go away
and don’t come back.
You’ve gotta find another way.

[Verse]
Alarm bells ring
from a tripwire’s string.
Logs tell a sad, sad story
of a search for a way in.

SOC screens flash
for a matching hash
We’ve seen this one before
and there’ll be many more

[Chorus]
That’s why I’m on the blue team, baby, (ooh yeah)
we’ve got to always win. (blue team, blue team)
Gotta keep out the bad guys, (ooh yeah, gotta keep out the bad guys baby)
can’t ever let them in.

Come join the blue team, baby,
we need your awesome skills.
Show your strength, let it shine,
help take those APTs offline

We’re on the blue team, (ooh yeah)
got to always win. (blue team, blue team)
Gotta keep out the bad guys, (ooh yeah, gotta keep out the bad guys baby)
can’t ever let them in.

We’re on the blue team, baby,
we’ve got to always win.
We’re the unsung heroes.
(gotta keep out the bad guys, baby)

Tag: Song

You’re on mute

Blue Team – The Song